Monday, December 24, 2007

Weihnachten

Sometimes I wonder about the size of what one time was considered for me as an enormous world. Reality is that I hace the privilege of share toughts with people far far away than I've ever wondered. Friends, a partner, a best freunde, many enemies, and a love. Somehow I think that causes may have lead to stories written in time and memories. Precisely today I'm back on the origins that remind me that things cannot be defined as soon as they happen.

I feel... strange. And this is not because lack of something I can state; but instead that I wouldn't say something my life is missing on my reach. I've many worries now, but for the first time since I can remember as a modern story, I feel a satisfaction about what destiny has made of me.

Today is Christmas, once again I must thank.

Music by: Muse [Unintended]

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Aun no...

El tiempo a veces nos cae encima mas pronto de lo que podemos reaccionar, y es que tener la contemplación de las cosas que me han pasado en un periodo que no puedo delimitar; comienza a ser sorprendente si lo pongo en la balanza de lo que quiero contra lo que me corresponde. El tener la posibilidad de que las cosas tomen el rumbo de lo que determiné es una extraña sensación de paz a la que sinceramente no me acostumbro como mecanismo de defensa un poco precario; pero del que se de antemano no me quiero desprender.
Es curioso como justamente hace 365 días escribia algo totalmente distinto motivado por las causales que pudieron repetirse este mismo año con sorprendente similitud incluso de actores; y sin embargo me agrada que el destino y yo tengamos una tregua temporal en cuanto a lo que me deparában usualmente estas fechas.
Creo que comienzo a sentir un avance en cuanto a lo que quiero reflexionar; pero aun es un preview...
Music by: Bunbury & Vegas [De Esclavitud y de cadenas]

Friday, December 14, 2007

Requiem

Last time there was the feeling of numbness and a delused mind worrying for aspects out of his own control. A reluctance about what can be converted into good feelings that started out of thin air; and even when there was no reason to believe that I must not believe, the architect of great shapes decided to slap me in the face with a turnover bigger than any of the postures I knew before. Much of it was fear and hate; but mostly, I think it was me.

As far as I know myself I will make all on my side for this to happen for us with no committed ending; and yes, this is kind of a threat.

Ich liebe dich meine Prinzessin.

Music by: Lost Acapulco [Mision Malvarosa]

Monday, December 10, 2007

Emotion sickness V2

Is it that in some point I totally lost the focus on what's good for me? I somehow wonder that life has been too generous with me in the moments I think I have seen it all; and many of that times I have wasted the chance through expressing my own fears without milestones to do so. I think love is not something I can easily get used to once again; but I must say that there was a long time since I felt this way about someone.

I face the chance of doing what I´ve waited for so long; and even there is always the pushback of uncertainty; I feel like having the will to fight this time. I know that none of us are prepared for what we say or commit; but good news is that we are together in the process of being there, and anyhow this all will end; I'm glad to be part of it.

Music by: HBMS [The truth]

Sunday, December 02, 2007

I've been here before

Se bien que mi propia condición reflexiva se convierte en ocasiones en mi peor enemigo. El caso es que las cosas no son diferentes a como lo eran hace una semana; ni tampoco lo van a ser el día de mañana. Elegí que asi fuera todo y me siento tan vivo por ello, que creo que yo mismo busco la forma inconciente de hacerlo parecer menos.

A veces pierdo de vista que las cosas son enormemente mas grandes como para considerarlas dentro de lo que solamente yo quiero o puedo creer. Tampoco creo tener la amplitud mental para poder expresar fuera de mi propia ideologia lo que siento. Recordé tambien el por que ya deberia de haber entendido que el que busca, encuentra razones para envenenar la realidad hasta el punto de olvidar las cosas buenas. Me conozco demasiado como para pensar que tengo una solución para que no sea asi; pero tambien se que no estoy dispuesto a pasar por lo mismo con resultados ya conocidos.

Es impresionante la forma en la que cambias mi vida, y por mucho miedo que esto me represente; se que es lo que quiero.

Music by: Joss Stone [Right to be wrong]