Roadmap

Sometimes it's good to feel old-fashioned and go back to what ancesters may have considered as the only option when planning for a distant (sic) future. A matrix in a paper can seem to handle in a better way what my mind tries to manage without a complete commitment on the behalfs to go for it.

I'm starting to get used to feel like I have the inevitable duty of scaling a ladder that may fit to what I want; and at the end this is exactly what is pushing me to go forward and look for it. I wonder sometimes what would happen if the focus on this behavior wouldn't exist; and inherently; if this were a different one I would have a different standpoint.

I know I must answer the question that was never stated but can set a milestone in what I search for a future; and by now the time is running. Even tough, I'm not really worried.

Music by: Dave Matthews Band [Satellite]

Wettbewerb

I used to remember sometimes this scene from an old action movie I may have been saw when I was about 7. A large group of barbarians depleting and destroying a conquered village, killing men and kidnapping women with a natural born skill. When questioned about the meaning and objective of their rampaging campaigns; the red bearded man promted:

-"We use the resources from last campaign to finance this one; and our gains from this conquer will truly serve to let us go on the next..."-

Once I conceived this idea as the barbaric focus of every enterprise; in which the mean is also the method and viceversa. Why do we need to put an effort on something that would only cause the chance for more effort; I used to think.

The terms I look at now are pushing me to change this standpoint from the inside of my own convictions; mainly because I want to be prepared for whatever is coming next before it's too late to react. Many thoughts have ran randomly into my mind fearing all the tings that could come wrong during a period I haven't even defined. That's why I consider that this struggle starts here and now.

I just hope this decision being made on solitude would bring more than one an smile someday.

Music by: Vicentico [Soy Feliz]

Sohnnen von Kaliman

Getting used to darkness; the least glimpse of light may feel like heaven.

At the end I just can blame the fear of that moment we both know someday will arrive, but we need to learn to live with. By this time that's a second layer in what the focus should step; while a "Curse" needs to be broken, and definitely not only by me.

Got no time for going deeper; I'll need to look for it.

Music by: Phil Collins [The way you look tonight]

Beholding

Just like the sensation brought to mind when you remember how does it feel to reach the last drop of wine in the glass. It's not like you have never expected to go through this; but it's almost real now and you come to realize that it would happen and now you must be aware of it.

Why do we like to feel this way? At the end, the final pattern is just the color filled inside the line of what our actions depict. Most of the times we foresee the course of the story that's about to be told; an we still want to spice up things denying the unavoidable ultimate end. Is it part of what we create or just the momentary explanation to what we like to mantain?

Why do we ask this to myself? If I go closer to this argument; I'm only feeding this same feeling with the same question and answer. Ok so, finally; What's the point?

I'll have to use a good portion of strategy to finally set this, and the moment is coming closer and closer. Why do I like to leave the last spark to the end?

Music by: Weezer [Pork and Beans]